scares you.” Sometimes, for me,
that’s just looking in the mirror when I roll out of bed sleep deprived,
stressed out and facing a long day with a ton of work in front of
But that’s not what she meant.
What I think this courageous woman meant was to challenge yourself to do
that which you never thought you had the courage to do. She meant be brave, be
decisive, take a stand, and meet that frightening thing head on.
I decided to take her up on her challenge.
I haven’t done one thing every day that scares me because a few things,
in my opinion, carry over a few days.
They were that big!
First, I removed my daughter from public school. There were a lot of reasons leading up
to this decision; but I have felt like the school’s been failing her for a long
time. Unfortunately, as a single
parent, I didn’t know what to do with her. I can’t afford private school and I
have to work during the day. But a
series of events finally collided and I made an intuitive, one-second, with my
heart decision to pull her out. I
didn’t know what I was going to do; but I knew she couldn’t go back there one
more day. I made the decision to
home school her for the rest of the year.
That one, I think, should fulfill the scare yourself requirements
for at least a week!
Then I had to make a big request of my boss. I never like doing this. I always feel
“not good enough” and make excuses or pile things upon myself instead of asking
for what I need. But this time, I asked for the permission to telecommute for
until the middle of June. That
scared me a lot. What if she said no? What if, worse, she said that I was a pain
in the ass and they didn’t need me anymore? I’ve had my share of challenges since I
started there and she’s been so gracious when I needed to tend to a sick kid but
what if enough was enough? Yet, I
scared myself and I asked. She
said yes. Problem solved!
Over the course of the next few weeks, I said no to several
invitations because I just didn’t have the ability in me to socialize. Before, I would have agreed and tried
to muster up the oomph to glam up and head out. This time I didn’t.
I said no and made no excuses. I made choices that scared me, I said no
to a lot of things and agreed to others.
I refused to be goaded. I
wrote without having a client request.
I flirted back. I trusted
And, that scary woman looking back at me in the mirror
today? Well, let’s just say I like her a whole helluva lot more!