Sue Ayers
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Who's going to show up today?

5/31/2009

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My daughter’s soccer team played in a tournament this weekend.  They played two games on Saturday and then a third Sunday morning. Depending on points scored and all that, they would or wouldn’t have played in the final championship game Sunday afternoon.

As soon as the first game started, the other team outplayed them.  They had a great strategy and passed to one another and our girls just sort of did what they could but lost by 5.  It wasn’t a great start to the tournament.  Our team won the 2nd and the 3rd and ended up playing the 4th and final game.  It was against the same team that defeated them. This time it was different - even though our girls played the same team just a day earlier, it was as though a different team showed up.  They looked so good and they remembered their own strategies and plays.  They lost but could hold their heads up when they left that field. They are champions.

Today made me think about the fact that every day I can decide which one of me is going to show up - not in a schizophrenic way - but what attitude am I going to display.  Am I going to be defeated by this recession and just give up?  Nope - to me that is epic failure.  Every day I am going to decide to be that team that I watched today.  The one who knew they were facing tremendous odds against a team that initially stomped them by a lot.  But they showed up to face them again and they weren’t deterred by the odds.  They weren’t deterred by the fact that they just lost by five.  They did what they were supposed to do -the next right thing.  They got out there, they listened to their coach, they played by the rules and they got 2nd place in a tournament where lots of teams didn’t get anything.  You know what? Second place is good enough.

I’m a big believer in attitude being everything - if you don’t believe me, just read some of my earlier posts. But watching this team today reinforced that believing in yourself and maintaining a positive attitude can make all the difference in the world.  I’m going to remember that this week as I go on interviews and network.  I’m going to remember that if I don’t believe in myself nobody else will either.  I’m going to keep the faith and remember that ultimately the final score doesn’t matter.  What matters is the journey that gets me there.  Peace!

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Tips for becoming unstuck

5/8/2009

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More than one person mentioned the fact that I haven’t updated this blog in a few weeks.  I blamed it on the fact that I’ve been really busy with, well, you know…stuff.  But the truth is, I’ve been ‘stuck’. And it’s tough to write or do just about anything when you get stuck.  You know that place – where the “I should” meets the “I can’t” and all you want to do is play Mafia Wars and forget about searching for a job, cleaning up the house, taking care of your soul.  Note:  Mafia Wars does nothing for the soul.

So I’ve been thinking, okay really obsessing, on this blog and my writing and what I should be doing and that further exacerbated the 'stuckicity' I was experiencing. I got some great advice the other day about writing just a short blog to keep it updated.  That helped because it took the pressure off of feeling that I had to write some big dissertation.  Once the pressure was off, I could move forward.    So I’ve created a list of things that I can do to become unstuck and figured that would make a good enough blog for today.  Here they are:

1.        Talk to someone else – getting advice from someone else helps because sometimes when you’re stuck, you are in it too deep and someone objective can look at things from another angle.  This might help you to see things you wouldn’t see otherwise.  This goes for asking God or the Universe for help too – and don’t forget to say ‘thanks’ when you get what you need.

2.       Take a break – getting outside, either in the yard or on a walk, really helps.  My problem is that I don’t do it when I need to.  I’ll stay inside staring at the computer screen waiting for some sort of divine inspiration or for more energy in my Mafia queue so I can attack.  So I have to make myself get outside regularly because I know this helps me tremendously.

3.       Reading something inspirational helps me to get out of that quagmire that won’t allow me to move forward.  Spiritual books are at the top of my list.  Since I wrote a review just the other day, I have a stack of them sitting here and it helps me to refer to them for motivation.  In case you need some inspiration yourself – here is a link to the book review: 
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1690949/spiritual_book_review_ten_books_that.html?cat=38

4.       Don’t just do something; sit there…well, almost.  Meditating is really good for my soul but to be honest, I have a terribly tough time sitting in meditation.  What is supposed to be a calming and relaxing experience actually causes me anxiety.  But, sometimes being stuck mentally causes symptoms to occur physically like headaches, neck aches and general aches, so I do combine meditation with some really basic yoga moves.  That helps me to feel better physically; hence I can move forward mentally.   I do a yoga pose and then just breathe for 30 seconds.  Yoga fans are probably thinking – um, that’s what yoga is – poses and breathing but I call it meditation.  Whatever it is, it works for me.

5.       What you focus on grows.  If you water and feed a flower in your garden, it will most likely grow.  I say most likely because my gardening experiences are usually hit or miss.  But you get the point – nurture it, spend time with it, focus on it and it will grow.  That works with problems too; albeit in a detrimental way.  Focusing and obsessing on something can make it bigger than it is.  Get your mind off the issue that’s keeping you stuck.  Do something else – whether it is one of the things I mentioned earlier or just something as simple as cleaning the house – inspiration comes from strange places at times.

There are lots of ways that we can get out of our own way – books, music, prayer, and nature are just a few ways that pop into my mind.  The idea is to accept that you are stuck but then try to find ways to get your mind off the sticky problem.  Free yourself and your mind by doing something else and before you know it, you’ve come unstuck and your problem is solved. The proof is in the fact that I actually wrote something today.

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