Sue Ayers
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Scare Yourself

5/21/2012

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Eleanor Roosevelt said “do one thing every day that
scares you.”  Sometimes, for me,
that’s just looking in the mirror when I roll out of bed sleep deprived,
stressed out and facing a long day with a ton of work in front of
me.

But that’s not what she meant.  

What I think this courageous woman meant was to challenge yourself to do
that which you never thought you had the courage to do. She meant be brave, be
decisive, take a stand, and meet that frightening thing head on. 
I decided to take her up on her challenge. 
I haven’t done one thing every day that scares me because a few things,
in my opinion, carry over a few days. 
They were that big!

 First, I removed my daughter from public school.  There were a lot of reasons leading up
to this decision; but I have felt like the school’s been failing her for a long
  time.  Unfortunately, as a single
parent, I didn’t know what to do with her. I can’t afford private school and I
have to work during the day.  But a
series of events finally collided and I made an intuitive, one-second, with my
heart decision to pull her out.  I
didn’t know what I was going to do; but I knew she couldn’t go back there one
more day.  I made the decision to
home school her for the rest of the year.


That one, I think, should fulfill the scare yourself requirements
  for at least a week! 



Then I had to make a big request of my boss.  I never like doing this. I always feel
“not good enough” and make excuses or pile things upon myself instead of asking
for what I need. But this time, I asked for the permission to telecommute for
until the middle of June.  That
scared me a lot. What if she said no? What if, worse, she said that I was a pain
in the ass and they didn’t need me anymore?  I’ve had my share of challenges since I
started there and she’s been so gracious when I needed to tend to a sick kid but
what if enough was enough?  Yet, I
scared myself and I asked.  She
said yes. Problem solved!


Over the course of the next few weeks, I said no to several
  invitations because I just didn’t have the ability in me to socialize.  Before, I would have agreed and tried
to muster up the oomph to glam up and head out. This time I didn’t. 
I said no and made no excuses.   I made choices that scared me, I said no
to a lot of things and agreed to others. 
I refused to be goaded.  I
wrote without having a client request. 
I flirted back.  I trusted
the process.    


And, that scary woman looking back at me in the mirror
  today?  Well, let’s just say I  like her a whole helluva lot more!

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Keeping the Faith During Your Job Search

3/17/2009

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I attended a networking lunch yesterday where a career coach spoke to us about career transitioning and change especially in an economy like ours. One of the questions in our workbook was "how do you maintain faith over fear?" That's a really relevant question for me as I move rapidly toward my eighth consecutive week of unemployment...which is, by the way, the last week that I'll receive a paycheck from Circuit City. If there was ever a time for fear to set in, it's now.


So, how do I not let fear get the best of me and better still, how is my faith working for me in tumultuous times? For me, faith is like a muscle - it has to be worked at for it to become strong. Some ways that I work on my faith muscle is through prayer and through practice. For some, practicing their faith is going to church, for others, it's an awareness of God or a higher power. For me, it's a combination of those. I do go to church, I volunteer as a religious education teacher, I work on the social justice ministry feeding the hungry and clothing the homeless...you know, building up those treasures in heaven! But I also try to incorporate my faith into every situation - especially the bad ones.

I commit my job search to God and I do that through prayer. I ask for wisdom and guidance in the jobs that I am applying for. I ask for direction as I go about my week seeking His guidance in opportunities that may present themselves. Should I go to that job fair, should I go to that conference, should I spend more time sifting through job vacancies online? Then I rely on an intuition after that. If opportunities present themselves more than once and I feel a sense of peace and comfort, I will usually take that as a sign of something I am supposed to pursue. If I feel anxious or apprehensive about an opportunity, I generally pass.

My brain and my heart will be in sync if I am walking in faith. I won't have that gnawing feeling inside that I am doing something wrong. I start my day in prayer and meditation, asking for God's guidance and then I just go about my day without worrying about how it unfolds. I take great comfort in knowing that, no matter how the day unfolds, my faith will be strong and my God will be in the lead.

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Seventh Week Rest

3/17/2009

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God rested on the 7th day, ball players have the 7th inning stretch, and I'm taking this week off from job hunting. With unemployment reaching double digits in some states, the odds of finding a job in the near future are slim. But job hunting is a job in and of itself, albeit a poorly paid one. So it's important to take breaks from the daily grind just like you would if you had a paying job.

I am still attending two out of three of my networking events because I enjoy them, not because I have to. And I did sit down at the computer and apply online for three jobs yesterday which took a total of one hour. But usually when I take a vacation from my job, I check in and deal with issues in some form or other so it really wasn't a big deal to send in a few online applications.

But I stepped out of my regular routine this week. I booked a massage using a gift certificate from a dear friend. I left there feeling so good, almost as though I spent a week at a spa (which I've never done so please forgive the analogy if you've done both and they are nothing alike). Then I went shopping. Since I was in Carytown for the massage in the first place, I checked out the Clothes Rack for incredible deals..and found one. Then I headed over to Short Pump Town Center to use up a credit that Macy's was nice enough to give me just because it really was mine. I've taken some long walks, played with my dogs in the yard, visited the dentist (which I really would do on my vacation time when I did have a job) and made some long overdue social phone calls. I feel rested and relaxed and come Monday morning, I'll be ready to face the job search again with renewed vigor.

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