Scare Yourself

Eleanor Roosevelt said “do one thing every day that
scares you.”  Sometimes, for me,
that’s just looking in the mirror when I roll out of bed sleep deprived,
stressed out and facing a long day with a ton of work in front of
me.

But that’s not what she meant.  

What I think this courageous woman meant was to challenge yourself to do
that which you never thought you had the courage to do. She meant be brave, be
decisive, take a stand, and meet that frightening thing head on. 
I decided to take her up on her challenge. 
I haven’t done one thing every day that scares me because a few things,
in my opinion, carry over a few days. 
They were that big!

 First, I removed my daughter from public school.  There were a lot of reasons leading up
to this decision; but I have felt like the school’s been failing her for a long
  time.  Unfortunately, as a single
parent, I didn’t know what to do with her. I can’t afford private school and I
have to work during the day.  But a
series of events finally collided and I made an intuitive, one-second, with my
heart decision to pull her out.  I
didn’t know what I was going to do; but I knew she couldn’t go back there one
more day.  I made the decision to
home school her for the rest of the year.


That one, I think, should fulfill the scare yourself requirements
  for at least a week! 



Then I had to make a big request of my boss.  I never like doing this. I always feel
“not good enough” and make excuses or pile things upon myself instead of asking
for what I need. But this time, I asked for the permission to telecommute for
until the middle of June.  That
scared me a lot. What if she said no? What if, worse, she said that I was a pain
in the ass and they didn’t need me anymore?  I’ve had my share of challenges since I
started there and she’s been so gracious when I needed to tend to a sick kid but
what if enough was enough?  Yet, I
scared myself and I asked.  She
said yes. Problem solved!


Over the course of the next few weeks, I said no to several
  invitations because I just didn’t have the ability in me to socialize.  Before, I would have agreed and tried
to muster up the oomph to glam up and head out. This time I didn’t. 
I said no and made no excuses.   I made choices that scared me, I said no
to a lot of things and agreed to others. 
I refused to be goaded.  I
wrote without having a client request. 
I flirted back.  I trusted
the process.    


And, that scary woman looking back at me in the mirror
  today?  Well, let’s just say I  like her a whole helluva lot more!