A Year Without Shopping...It Begins

About three weeks into my "No Shopping for One
 Year," I begin to feel antsy.  As  I explained before, I shop when I need a distraction. Some people eat, some  drink or pop pills, etc., but my way to get my mind off my problems is to  shop.  I have been receiving all  sorts of mailings –'tis the season, you know – that entice me to buy! That, on  top of some personal issues in the family, has made me think that I need the following:  

• A new winter coat. In  red. With a hood.  The three or four
  that  I own need dry cleaned. And aren't red.
• A new outfit to wear to  a Christmas party. –Really?  The super fancy 
  cocktail dresses, black pants and glittery tanks or jeans with cute graphic tees aren't good enough?
• New boots – because the  six pair that I own are too short, too long, too
  flat or have too high of a  heel.
• New black gloves  (actually these came off the list for a minute when I found both
  pair that I currently own. Then they went right back on because they get
  lost too  easily.)

So, now begins the internal battle to fight that urge to  shop.  I have to decorate my house
and really don't feel like it. I have two papers to write for my graduate  program and really don't want to (nor do I have any idea what to write  about).  Both of my daughters are
having struggles with various things.   Add all that to the usual suspects: laundry, cleaning, grocery  shopping,  and cooking and you can  see why I want to distract myself.  
 
But the whole point of not escaping with material things is so  that I can face my challenges and deal with them in a hopefully calm and serene  manner. It is no longer satisfying to buy a bunch of clothes or accessories;  hang them up in my closet and realize the paper is still due and the house is  not festive at all.  There will  always be a mountain of housework and when you have teenagers, there will always  be an issue or two…or twelve.  The
key is to face my problems and deal with them.  
 
And yet, while that might be the grown-up thing to do though, I  just don't want to. I want to explore the mall, listen to the Christmas tunes  and buy every single item on my list because I work hard and I deserve to have  nice things, right?  That is what  my shopping-addict mind tells me over and over.  "Work on school later.   Or better yet, drop out with three classes to go."  "Who cares what state the house is in?  People LIVE here…it should look  messy."  
 
The committee in my head is loud and lousy with advice this  morning.  I have the whole day
ahead of me and I know that, at various points, I will feel the strong pull to  jump in my jeep and escape to that beautiful land of lights, music, shiny-happy  people, laughter, and Starbucks.  

And I will try to breathe and remind myself that I am Queen of my life  and queens do not give in to every urge and desire.   And I will deck the halls of my own house and write a stellar paper for  class today.  Because I am worth  more than the clothes in my closet. 
I am on a path to freedom and I am going  places!

---