Above all, be true to yourself - no matter what

As Polonius prepares his son Laertes for a trip abroad in Hamlet, he tells him “this above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”  This is one of my most loved Shakespearean quotes and one that I try to live by daily.  I can’t imagine the alternative. 

Why live for someone else’s expectations?  Why even try?  What do you gain when you do so and more importantly, what do you lose?  The price is too high to put other’s expectations in the forefront and live your life accordingly.  To me, that is soul-trouncing and  I want no parts of it.

This week the world lost an icon and, to me, his death while senseless and sad, was not the tragedy.  To me, trying so hard to change yourself into what others expect you to be IS tragic to say the least. Michael Jackson seemed to always be determined to change himself. He always seemed to be wanting to be someone other than who he really was.  Is this a condition that comes with enormous fame and fortune?  Is it the condition of starting a career at such a young age?  Is it the result of having every move you make scrutinized by the press and the public? Is it fear?  I don’t know.  To me, the sadness lies in not ever being able to find yourself.  To me, the tragedy is dying without ever having been able to look at yourself in the mirror and love the person looking back.

It always seemed like Michael was that person - someone who Paul Laurence Dunbar had in mind when he wrote “We wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes”.   It was evident by the way Michael tried so dilligently to change who he was - with his bizarre actions and relationships in and outside of his family - but also with how hard he tried to change the actual image of who he was.  He was on a never ending quest to change his own face.

Many years ago, Michael Jackson sang an endearing and beautiful song for the movie Ben.  The lyrics went:

Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's one thing you should know
You've got a place to go

I wish he had listened to those words himself. If he only could have loved and accepted himself for who he was instead of running here and there trying to change everything to become something else. I’m fairly certain that, if Michael had a Polonius of his own telling him how important it was to be true to ones self, this ending might have turned out a whole lot differently than it did. If only Michael had given to himself a tiny portion of what he gave to the world.